I am the granddaughter of a Navy veteran. I am the daughter of an Air Force veteran, the wife of an Army veteran, and the mother of an Air Force veteran. I understand military life - the highs and the lows, the pride and the anguish. I understand, better than most civilians, what shell-shocked really means in the long-term, behind closed doors.
I watch my husband and son as periodically some stranger gently taps them on the shoulder, and perfunctorily quotes "Thank you for your service!" I see the awkward and uncomfortable shifting of their demeanor, the stuttered "You're welcome - and thank you for recognizing me." I have even had the same strangers thank me for sharing my soldiers and supporting them at home.
I appreciate the presumed sentiment, but please don't.
Our soldiers have fought in worn-torn countries for centuries, fought for ungrateful and unsupportive peoples, and seen their buddies torn apart by IEDs, land mines and gunfire. They have been ordered to clear small villages of all inhabitants - men, women, children alike. Our loved ones have seen the heinous damage inflicted when countries value economics and petroleum more than its people.
I am merely the rock. I am the one who helps to bring balance and stability to my soldiers' lives. I make sure the house is clean, that dinner is made. I babysit so my soldier can have a night 'off' with his wife. I make sure everything is documented, pictured and videoed. I provide a soft place to land when they need to just be around family - no questions asked other than, "What can I do?" I keep the home fires burning - not because it's my 'job', but because I love my soldiers and that's what you do for people you care about - support them.
'What can I do?'....that's what I wish the rest of the world would say to our soldiers. Stop the feel-good patriotism. It seems that 'thank you' on Veterans Day and Memorial Day has become a national movement - one without feeling, understanding or respect. Please stop pushing your child to say thank you to a uniformed stranger. Please recognize our veterans more than twice a year!
Focus on what you can DO instead. Instead of a superficial 'thank you' - show our military members how grateful you are every day. Instead of a bumper sticker on your car that says "Support Our Troops" - get out and actually do it.
Actions are always the best interpreter of thoughts.
Raise your voice to our government and bring our soldiers home. No, really - really do it! Write a letter, join a march, send a message. If you want to teach your child respect for the military - volunteer at a soup kitchen or VA facility so that they truly understand some of the issues our military members face when they return. Buy the homeless veteran dinner once a week. Hire or recommend a veteran for a job. Help a struggling military wife and mother take care of things at home while her soldier is deployed. Support initiatives in your local communities to create homes or services for our vets, or provide additional mental health services for our soldiers who need help.
We complain about political rhetoric daily on social media and news outlets, and yet we know that words without action are meaningless. Please don't misunderstand me - I am grateful. I know everyone means well, but let's show our soldiers that they can count on us to pull our weight here on home every day of the year, and not just on special holidays. Your actions will speak louder than any words.
